This obviously had to be put up on here, ever since stage crew for the fall play when we entertained ourselves with this list for quite awhile. Something like this seems to happen every play, of course this is much tamer than the "specialty" magazine that I stepped on. The great question with that is whose magazine was that anyway?

50. (the obvious) "Ooooooo"

49. "That would work better the other way around…"

48. Sniff. Sniff. "Is something burning?"

47. "Damn, that's complicated."

46. "Wait, wait, use my pillow."

45. "Alright, already. I came."

44. "You guys need a value pak."

43. Smoke a pipe. Every once in a while wave it around and say, "Good show Old Bean."

42. "Is that sperm or a mudpack?"

41. "You've got something stuck in your teeth."

40. "4 out of 5 dentists say that's bad for your enamel."

39. Go to the fridge, break open a cold one, and pick up the remote. Point and click. Complain when they don't change positions.

38. "You know, they say three's a charm."

37. Suggest your favorite position.

36. Shine a flashlight on them and say, "This is a citizen's arrest, assume the position."

35. "Bring in the gimp."

34. "Hold that pose."

33. Sit up in your bed, bounce vigorously, clapping and squealing with joy.

32. Start singing Meatloaf's "Love by the Dashboard Light"

31. Sing "Shake Your Booty"

30. "A little to the left."

29. "Is that a penis in your girlfriend or are you just happy to see me?"

28. "Is there room for two in there?"

27. "Two words: Penis Extension."

26. Invite others in as a cheering section.

25. Charge admission at the door.

24. Make and hold up scorecards.

23. All of them should read 6.9

22. Whip out a pen a paper and take notes.

21. "Maybe it would help if you…"

20. "That's what you call erect?"

19. "That reminds me of a joke I heard…"

18. "Let the chicken go, he had nothing to do with it!"

17. Hold up two bags and say, "Paper or plastic?"

16. Roll over, grunt and say, "I'd rather be fishing."

15. "Use the heimlich: she's got something stuck in her throat."

14. "May I cut in?"

13. "That's illegal in Arkansas."

12. "Holy whips and chains, Batman."

11. Scream at the top of your lungs. If they ask what's wrong, explain that you thought you were having a nightmare.

10. Take pictures. Explain that it was a kodak moment.

9. Recite quotes from Condom Month like "Pack your weaner before you bean her" and "wrap your packer before you whack her".

8. "MMM-That looks good, I think I'll try some too."

7. "Let's make a sandwich."

6. "Is that hard enough for you?"
   

5. "I'm going to the water fountain. Can I get you anything?"

4. "I think you dropped something."

3. "Do you like to eat at the Y?"
   

2. Pick up you camcorder and say, "How much do you think they would pay to see this on Pay-Per-View?"

1. "How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?"